That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
