dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
