Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
