I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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