It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize