i just wanna soil my oats bro
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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