just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
