Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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