why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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