Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So apparently I’m into choking now
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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