I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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