What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
