everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
