I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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