Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
