the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
