I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
