Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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