One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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