So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
