Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
