She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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