This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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