just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize