I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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