Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
