I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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