When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
