just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
