return my video game
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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