I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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