omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
