Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
