Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
