Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize