dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
