was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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