Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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