I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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