I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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