please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
