You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize