dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
