Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
