Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
