Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
