My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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