I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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