You really coming over, don't trick.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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