if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
