make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize