Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
