I could make wine with my vomit
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
