I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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