Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
