hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
