OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do vagina's smell?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
