Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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