He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
