I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
