I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
