I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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