nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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