My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
