Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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