yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
