btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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