every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
